Non-Judging Mindset - Mindfulness
Non-judging - 2nd of 9 Mindsets of Mindfulness
This post is accompanied by a matching yoga class that is part of the Seeking Selah Yoga Mindfulness Playlist on YouTube. Check it out! https://youtu.be/IlBcBZoNb0M
Dr. Zin Kabatt refers to this as awareness that arises by paying attention in the moment, non-judgementally. He says, “The reality is that we, as human beings, are quick to judge. Judge ourselves, judge others, judge situations. And more often than not, we are judging based on some ill-defined preconception we have about reality. And if one looks at the huge list of cognitive biases that were discovered by psychologists, one cannot help but wonder how much of our preconceptions are true.” So by practicing “non-judging” we are being intentional about where our beliefs are coming from and trying to let the judgments go, so we can be objective.
So let’s recap. By non-judging, we are accepting that we as humans have “ill-defined preconceptions” about all kinds of topics. Perhaps these shape our thoughts and opinions more than we realize. In order to be “non-judging”, we have to identify that we have preconceptions about most things.
Friends, can I just say that there have been times my good-natured husband says something that I take poorly because I assumed he meant something bad? And I just keep learning that he isn’t that kind of person but my sensitivities to certain topics or my lack of sleep or hunger, make me assume the worst. I think that is exactly what this mindset of non-judging is about. People may say something or do something not kind but then the next time you see them, exude kindness. If we are to interact with a person as they are, we need to let go of our own assumptions, resentments, expectations, and if applicable, grudges.
How to relate this biblically?!
Jesus is the best and first example I thought of. Jesus did not judge the leper who was cast out from his home, wandering alone. He did not cling to a preconception that the leper did something awful to deserve this disease. No, Jesus healed him. Jesus came to turn the rigidity of the church upside down, and healed people on Sunday (the man with the withered hand). Jesus healed the lame without judgment. Jesus is the ultimate Judge yet he did not cling to preconceptions that people placed on others.
Matthew 4:24 24 So his fame spread throughout all Syria, and they brought him all the sick, those afflicted with various diseases and pains, those oppressed by demons, those having seizures, and paralytics, and he healed them.
In Luke 19:1-10 - He entered Jericho and was passing through. 2 And behold, there was a man named Zacchaeus. He was a chief tax collector and was rich. 3 And he was seeking to see who Jesus was, but on account of the crowd he could not, because he was small in stature. 4 So he ran on ahead and climbed up into a sycamore tree to see him, for he was about to pass that way. 5 And when Jesus came to the place, he looked up and said to him, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down, for I must stay at your house today.” 6 So he hurried and came down and received him joyfully. 7 And when they saw it, they all grumbled, “He has gone in to be the guest of a man who is a sinner.” 8 And Zacchaeus stood and said to the Lord, “Behold, Lord, the half of my goods I give to the poor. And if I have defrauded anyone of anything, I restore it fourfold.” 9 And Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, since he also is a son of Abraham. 10 For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.”
John 21:25 Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written.
Even though Peter had debts to be settled and had sinned, Jesus saw who he was as a person. Saw that he needed to catch fish for his livelihood and He filled Peter’s boat with fish -without him even asking. Peter became a close disciple and friend to Jesus. `
So how does this relate to us? Perhaps you see someone dressed in certain clothes and without much thought, you’ve already determined that person is “poor” or has “loose morals” or “bag hygiene” or that they’re a “shady character”. Instead of allowing your thoughts to continue down this road, choose to let it go. Understand that perhaps the “poor” person has chosen humble simplicity, the person with “loose morals” is really friendly and doesn’t feel they’re being too revealing, the person with “bad hygiene” works really hard at their job, or the “shady character” is wearing the only clothes that were handed down to them. But in an effort to not judge the judging, you accept that at one point in a person’s life they were one person but today they are different. You let go of what you see in the moment to realize that a person cannot be defined by appearances. I can tell you that at one point in my life I wore clothes that I wouldn’t wear in public now -but what if because of finances those are the only clothes I still had to wear? Or perhaps the wealthy person who is dressed in fine clothes isn’t stuck up at all. Perhaps they own a company and donate 90% of their profits to charity. Either way, it’s not up to us to judge a person’s actions or character. A friend recently told me a story of a woman who was terribly rude to her and she didn’t see this person for over a year and when she finally did, the woman embraced as if nothing had happened. Appearances and individual interactions don’t make up WHO a person is.
Can we suspend judgment? See and let go?
*I do want to note that this is a mindset for everyday occurrences but isn’t intended to supersede your instincts. Outside of a normal day, if you ever feel threatened by a person or unsafe situation, listen to your instincts.
Now what can we do when we catch ourselves subtly passing a judgement? The idea is to let it go and not linger on it. Don’t be harsh with yourself for having the thought but recognize you’ve had it, and let it go. James Finley, the author of the book, Christian Meditation - a guide to contemplation, writes that "in meditation the goal is to neither think our thoughts nor try not to have any thoughts. Rather the goal is to sit still and straight, meditatively aware of each thought as it arises endures and passes away." He repeatedly says, in meditation that each of your thoughts "arises, endures and passes away." Now I know we’re not necessarily in a state of meditation when we’re waiting in the Starbucks drive thru but I like wording he uses here that our thoughts, no matter where we are at, whether we mean to think of them or dwell on them, they will ultimately arise, endure, and pass away.
So what happens if you’re waiting in a line while in the grocery, and it’s taking a long time, you’re getting really hot standing there in your coat, and let’s throw in that you’re hungry too? Well perhaps you can sense you’re annoyed, we start staring at the people around us or at the magazines with the latest drama, or pull out our phones fall into the social media scroll hole. Your thoughts start to be colored by judgements. As soon as you catch that you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole, intentionally shift your thoughts to something else. If your mind begins to wander during a meeting, once you recognize it, intentionally refocus on something else in your surroundings.
A breath prayer can be a powerful focal point. Focusing on your breathing and connecting it to scripture is powerful. Here are several to try.
Clarity/wisdom: Inhale: Father, guide my thoughts, exhale: that I may focus on what is noble and true
One for anxiety/stress/anger: Inhale: Prince of Peace, exhale: fill my presence with your presence
Have any thoughts you’d like share? Drop them in the comments!
